i hate livejournals - May 1st, 2009

Dear Landlord,

I would like to appologize for the smell of dead hippies
That has taken up residency in my room for the time being.
I assure that no one/thing died in my room, however.
(This does not mean that already dead things never payed a visit.)
Please ignore that shards of glass covering the floor of my sunroom
when my coffee pot broke on the first day I moved in.
I once played with the idea of cleaning them up,
but they pleaded with me saying they had grown
accostomed to their new locality.
And,
If you would, excuse the cabbage on the roof,
I promise it's harmless.

Love,
ike

P.S. I really need my security deposit back.